Tuna tostada

5 chf

Four consecutive  consecutive weekends going to the woods, 

1 week 26 juli, Rigi with Tokiko and Sevi, 

1 week, 1 august Cadlimo Hütte

2 week the woods behind my house

3 week, Uetliberg

These three weekends have been good for me, I`ve been out and doing good things, feeling good and thinking about this somehow slow summer, a little boring, but its ok, 

I’m not going to japan, neither China, I wanted to go somewhere out in my last days of  vacation before the child comes, but I have not been able to organize it, I am still extra confused about being a father, and instead of behaving like a parent I take the role of the little kid, 

I am not focusing enough of the things I should do, and I loose so much time doing things that are actually not practical and doesn`t help me much in making a better future. It is really hard to see some of many of my Rodrigo’s dying and new ones betting born, but it’s hard to say goodbye to the old Rodrigo’s , and the new ones I still don`t want them to get born.

It’s a paradox, because you are getting old, but you have to get rid of your old YOU`s and embrace the new ones that comes with age and responsibility. I`m still not ready for that. I don’t know how to embrace them. And soon a kid is coming and I’m not prepared! because so far I have not achieved my goal to be in the opera business, but then again , probably I will never get in because I do so little or not at all to get in, 

I desire to much, I want to do everything, but because of that , I don’t do nothing and then I get frustrated because I didn’t do anything, It’s weird and funny in many ways , but it is also scary , 

I miss my old me, the one nobody understand, but he got things done, I don’t know exactly when I changed to me, crazy, 

So I decided to make a change right now, at 12:23 pm 25/august/2014

The undisputed blinded truth of a fantastic weekend.

Crunchy grasshoppers with chips $ gratis, I made them!!

Street parade was in Zurich 2 of august, Me 38 about to have a child, It looked that It was a nice moment to go for the first time to the street parade in Zurich, wild party, sex, drugs, DJs, etc. Probably the last time I could be going, but no. Instead somehow my plans where others, HIKING in CADLIMO, up to 2570 mt high on the Ticino mountains, bad weather, boring time?, Honestly I don’t know, I never go hiking. Sevi´s sister goes there to work on summers with Heinz. How boring could it be? Maybe a little? I wasn`t sure, But for one year Sevi wanted to go with me to Cadlimo, and last year I didn`t, so she was expecting this time, I would say Yes to Cadlimo! I didn`t have any option though, So, Instead of a Party on street parade, I opted boring (Like if I had a choice).

Before going on  Friday, 1 August  I took the advice from my friend Lukas, to try making Stan up paddling, This boring image of somebody rowing and standing on a board  with a big belly, I thought It was boring but a piece of cake, after all I had done Laser joller, Stand up paddling, common, Ok, I`ll go , I was not prepared , I didn`t have my swim suit, or anything, but anyway, Lukas was going on Sunday to Südtirol, I wanted to spend some quality time with him, rowing, or paddling, whatever the difference.

So I joined, I transformed myself from a fatty body into a cool shaped seal body with a black bodysuit, 

I grabbed my XXXL board and a paddle, and went to the zurichsee.

Guille my friend was also paddling. He thought I would have no trouble doing paddling because I skateboard,

 He was wrong,

I couldn’t stand on the damn board for more than 3 minutes, I was falling and falling, and falling, until the worst came. The fifth fall was the eye opener, as I was trying to control the wild board under my feet, I fell again and on the splash I realized that I just had lost my glasses. A moment of total sadness, between not seeing anything for I am a total myopia guy, and not seeing my glasses because of the turbulent waters, I was then in total despair. Suddenly I felt my glasses  touching my upper right leg, I dive like I have never before dive in my life, trying to catch it, no luck, My glasses where gone, slowly sinking in the depths of the dark zurichsee .

For a long time I haven’t felt like a kid, being teached by life in a more simple way.

Lesson of life.

“If you are going in the water with your glasses put a rubber band on your glasses, otherwise DON`T get in the water, You`ll lose your glasses surely you will lose them.”

Me

“No problem, I will grab my glasses every time I’m falling to the water, how difficult could that be?”

Lesson of Life,

“That’s why rubber band for glasses where invented”

Me

“Oh who need that shit when you anticipate the problem?”

Lesson of life,

“Exactly, anticipate the problem, don`t go inside.”

Me

“Nah”

Lesson on life

“(sigh)”

I talked to the paddling teacher and explained the situation.  He then went in the water to try to find the glasses with goggles. I was sitting on the dock like a little almost blind kid Thinking about the lesson of life, and looking around the new fluffy world I haven`t seen for a while. During that time I was in the awkward situation of having to call Sevi to explain the situation meaning that obviously I wouldn’t go to CADLIMO, the next day, “How could I climb a mountain with more than 10 points myopia in each eye?” Next moment, silence, I knew Sevi was sad and about to cry, not because of my glasses, but because she had plan this trip for a while to go together.  I felt also devastated, because somehow my wish on staying in Zurich for the street parade was becoming reality. It was the perfect excuse not to go actually, but my heart broke so strong with these 5 seconds of silence. I said I’ll meet here in the house and hung up.

After 30 minutes, obviously he didn`t find them. He told me that tomorrow the police could come to scuba and find the glasses in the morning, that phrase really made a clear image in my mind.  “Police scuba divers coming with a big boat, looking for my glasses” (talk about self-esteem). That thought made me feel important, it gave me hope. I thanked Philippe, the nice teacher and headed back to the house trying to grab the right tram number to go home. Guille my friend helped me to go back home. It was totally an awkward day.

Next morning…….. (Next post)