Taipei: ya no es teatro , ya es fuerza bruta intelectual, si no , no es nada, es producto, pero esto si se mezcla con diseño es subime.

reconecto de nuevo amenizando el deseo ultimo de realmente hacerlo. de la idea al texto no es mi fuerza por lo que lo hace mas catartico y hermoso , espero la adiccion a leer y a escribir, la adiccion llega vagamente, pero hoy llegò como dardo.

Lynch regresa a hacer huevos rancheros mi cabeza, trasciende su placer de jugar con nosotros cual facil es confundirnos con algo de todos los dìas.
Voy a tener un hijo en cualquier momento, viene en camino y no estoy preparado de nuevo, imagino qeu asi debe de ser por que te inspira a estar alerta todo el tiempo.
Gano medalla de oro en el World stage design el 5 de julio del 2017. Recibo un premio importantisimo contrarrestando  mis dudas personales, cochambroso recibo el premio, entre monstruos como Pamela Howard y varios mas. Tengo potencial, y es reconocido.
tengo gallos a cuales mirar, Lynch Castellucci, Greenaway, Louis C:K:, es Verano y el lago y el ri ome invitan a entrar en sus carnes liquidas.
Tengo 3 maneras de corroborar que no vamos a algun lugar sin estar seguros de nosotros mismos como persona y como ente social. Me da miedo ser ente social , siempre pienso que no sirvo para eso, pero me da mas miedo ser ente individual, aunque pensando honestamente, he llegado hasta aqui por mi ente individual, y nunca por mi ente social. Reconecte con Manuel Parra,  leì su blog, que interesante el chico , manifesta sus cuerdas flojas y sus tensas. cuando tensa las cuerdas se produce una vibracion exquisita y es ahi donde mas disfrute sus textos, busca y se busca, y no se encuentra ya que si no seria el fin de una gran mente, no se encuentra por lo que lo lleva a lugares mas y mas delisciosos en su mente , y ahi donde no se encuentra es donde hace mas sentido su sabiduria. El es arte. Tengo que aprende bien a jugar backgammon.

mi reactor nuclear en world stage design 

Hoy despues de tres semanas en Mexico con la Expomueble no has ido muy bien, y de regresar a suiza despues de 2 dias, fuimos a Konstanz a recoger un paquete sevi, kenji y yo, 

fue un dia normal, quisimos disfrutar de Konstanz, pero estabamos un poco nerviosos con kenji ya que estaba muy inquieto y queria hacer totalmente lo contrario a lo que le deciamos, 

llegamos a zurich a las 6 y vimos una pelicula llamada the arrival (2016) sobre el lenguaje, el entendimeinto del lenguaje y la manera de definir el lenguaje, 

el futuro y el pasado, 

es un concepto muy interesante ya que tu lenguaje define como piensas, y en la pelicula hablan de un lenguaje donde el futuro y el pasado se mezclan, ya que nosotros estamos atados a un futuro y pasado por una linea de tiempo.

Esta pelicula me invita a indager mas por lo qe significa el tiempo, y es una pelicula que en verdad me hubiera gustado haberla hecha, 

estoy a tope con lo del teatro y quiero poder hacer teatro, con un toque cientifico y con un toque emocional sin tanto lenguaje, donde un futuro y un pasado se pueda juntar, 

creo que tengo que ver a andri para ver todo esto y me pueda ayudar a la dramaturgia, 

a Kenji por otro lado disfrutare de su tiempo lo mas posible. 

es ínico y viene otro en camino, 

Kenji en Belvedere Viena, 24 diciembre 2016

La vida me pinta un recelo conmigo mismo,

por un lado veo todo lo que vivo y me catalogo como un ser afortunado al poder haber hecho viajes tan completos para mi ser. Me consolido como un ente trascendental en lo que la estandarizaciòn de los viajes se refiere. 

Tengo una familia pequeña y muy bonita, mi hijo a dos años de su nacimiento es un pequeño caballerito armado solo con su entusiasmo de vivir y unas aplanadoras como piès.

Viene un segundo que atrae expectativas hacia una nueva manera de ver el mundo. Mi acompañante de vida es la mas sincera persona que pude haber tenido para balancear mi estado catartico de la mentira.

Por otro lado asimilo el estado latente de mi condformidad conmigo mismo, en espectativas muy bajas, digo , encuentro en mi el hompre perfecto para ser un frustrado. me da miedo que sè que tengo que cambiar ahora mi estado fallido de permanencia confortable. que me esta cayendo muy mal a los 40 y debo cambiarlo para baneficio de mi familia, de mi ser y de mi actividad como  alquien que deja algo bueno para este mundo. pero que por el contrario mi mente me juega el juego de la indiferencia. mi cabeza le encanta estar en el confort de la esperanza de que un dia cambiarè,  el juego que me miro al espejo diciendo que un dia hare el cambio para ser el hombre exitoso que el undo esta esperando. que habrire la puerta al genio creativo que se ha gestado en mi cuerpo ya cuarenton, y que pronto el mundo se arrodillara ente el destello creativo jamas nunca visto. Mi esperanza de ser un hombre que ha guardado demasiado su genio y lo quiere volcar ya todo hacia afuera se esta convirtiendo en una frustracion que parece crecer y parece quedarse. porque? porque no hago nada, lo que pienso y lo que hago son 2 cosa muy opuestas, mi mente quiere revolucionar, mis actos estan estancados a un padre inexperto donde ve el mundo pasar.Como es posible que tenga los mismos pensamientos de que algun da sere un artista famoso  que comenzaron hace 25 años y que aun siguen en mi mente y sigue esperando que algun dia haga la desicion de recorrer ese camino largo pero exitoso de el arte como mi oficio y que tendre algun dia exito?   

Parece que tengo miedo de actuar y crear mi mundo , elaborar mi deseo, tengo miedo de actuar y fallar,  tengo miedo he hacer las cosas, por que? por que me siento inexperto aun ,  despues de tres masters y una licenciatura  todas de ARTE y ARQUITECTURA y aun no puedo gestar mis planes, no puedo avanzar, no puedo comenzar y completar un plan, no puedo llegar a  un fin,  no puedo completar mi meta bajo ningun nivel.  

por que tengo miedo a mi, por que mis fantasmas de niño aun estan metidos en mi cabeza,  por que me acuerdo cuando me hacian bullying,  por que se burlaban de mi de chico. eso quedo impactado en mi . y aunque he tenido un mundo y una vision y camino diferente en el arte, me considero incapaz de llegar a mis metas, y por el contrario  arrastrar ese saco de metas no terminadas, 

con esta carta me comprometo el dia de hoy a hacer un cambio . me comprometo a hoy 26 de diciembre tener una vision a algo que quiero hacer , me comprometo a trabajar duramente para poder hacer cada año tres metas que siempre he querido hacer, Voy a trabajar duro en elaborar mi proyecto a corto plazo y ser un artista o morir en el intento. 

hoy ya empece a trabajar mi cerebro de otra manera,  y me comprometo a elaborar y TERMINAR MIS IDEAS EN PROYECTOS FINALES, 

3 octubre 2016

yesterday was my last day with kenji,  I got to know how he normally behaves , his tricks, his cheats, his love and his perfect match with different ideas I have,  It is amazing we are discovering a kid which is a great thing in earth it is really magnifying and great,
Sevi comes today from surfing in portugal, things will get back to normal, but I hope it is for the good. and we can be more strong and great with one another.

We went to the Landesmuseum, ( at least from outside) , we also went to fraumunster plaza and th the opernhaus plaza,  it was awesome!!

coming back to blog

27 septiembre 2016
long time since I have not putted anything here,  so much things had happened, too much travelling and yet bored in a way, KENJI  is growing strong ( this photo was taken in Salome kurati mountain house in st gallen). I have been to Serbia, Porto (where I  had my 40 th birthday) and Vienna. In this blog I will put some photos of Vienna, Schönbrunn and other situations,  this blog is ment to be a Diary of my life I guess, the problem is that FACEBOOK has taken over my daty to day - hour to hour blogging situation, and it is not the best way to express some fellings I have,  The problem with this blog is that it will not be interesting for people, Or maybe it is . Lets see.
Why have I decided to write here again, well I really wanted to write stuff, the problem is that in a lazy motherfucker with things related with writing and drawing, althou i like to do it when Im doing it, but I dont have the will to write so much about it. anyway.  I guess I will start the blog again and also the LA SILLA ACAPULCO blog, That would be interesting to see how we can make it cool and great. On the other hand, sevi , my wife went to surf las t sunday 25 september 2016 for a week with her girlfriend Anja. I guess Is is great that she goes. I am alone with kenji now at this time. I will be 1 week alone with him, which thats awesome. and frightening.
I really dont know how to behave, but I guess it is great that we will learn nore of each other while mommy is not here.

I have also made two more set designs, for students, and some masks I had to make in 2 days.
sevi went surfing to portugal while I am with kenji in the house,
This si the third day and now I am alone in the Impact Hub rethinking again my life, I just make an error in LA SILLA ACAPULCO that cost me 1000 dollars. but I decided wrong and now I have to learn from my failures to get stronger,

saturday 25 sept 2016 altendorf

i just lost my skate board again,  

shiiiiit, 

Here I am , working in this blog again,  I am definitely a lousy writer, I was thinking i could do this in a Diary , , so I bought a diary, well ,  it not a diary, but an agenda, with not so much space for writing which it is fantastic, so far I have wrote nothing at all,
and hopefully this blog will save me from my lazyness of writing and expressing myself. I have to squeeze my brain a bit to enjoy life and feel honored I am a person. because jjjeeeeesus, this smartphones are not the best thing that has happened to me.Nor the world. It is a thing that suck your intellectuality, and because im not of this time and not from millennial generation I dont belong in this situation, even if I have adopted it, i just look ridiculous, hey comon,
  architecture
+
MA scenography
+
MA scenography
+
MA scenography

does not equals  a guy in a tram looking his iphone the whole fucking ride. I should be doing philosophical works by now.

anyway, tomorrow I go  to Belgrade to present my final project.
I`m really happy getting international now, even if its a student show, I guess it is great I have this opportunity,
Today, as I got time to walk to the cinema at 2 pm and see the CIVIL WAR, I thought that I am having a second opportunity , just like if I just recently got out of BA. then I thought I am really having another opportunity, and then It struck me , that I really have to take care of my body, everything is fantastic, and have another shot in my scenography career, and hopefully I dont screw it up.
Here are some photos of my last week trip to Sardegna, a fantastic place  . I thought you go there after 50, but it seems, i'm 40 now so i came 10 years before,  that's not so early either, im getting older, but my mind is getting younger,  . there these segundo aire,

Estoy en mexico,  si escribo desde mexico,desde hace años que no escribo este blog,  Han pasado cosas muy buenas e importantes,   Me titule como MA escenografia,  Hice una obra padrisima, ando en Mexico con lo de las sillas acapulco, el jueves llega mi esposa y nos vamos a Los cabos,
Todo padrisimo,
Esto es la primera vez que escribo y necesito calentar motores, pero hasta ahora ha sido interesante todo lo que hemos tomado.
saludos cordiales a todos, mañana escribo mas
Esta es una imagen de la sombra de un arbol con un edificio nuevo en guadalajara



Tenemos tambien una onda gourmet interesantisima en Guanatos, me parece padrisimo que Guadalajara tenga Gastronomia hermosa e interesante ,

la docena,
mercado mexico
tacos catrines
 increible
tostadas con espuma de habanero en la docenapulpo a las brasasel la docena
 Ostiones en vino de la docena

food truck en libertad y chapu
 Mezcalihna en el Eulogio  Mercado Mexico

taco de lechon en el Eulogio




ta

My eyes where blurred when you took your first breath of air, so tender and calm, as a living creature you truly have magic powers, You healed me from a  light depressive phase, from a numb stage, And gave me instant happiness, so strong that I shouted in a tram IM A FATHER, !!!!!!! Half of the tram shushed me but the other half cheered and applauded! You turned my mixed mind into a light river flow, and gave me space to comprehend the moves I have done in the last 2 years from Tokyo to Zurich. You transformed my antagonist self into my ally and taught me to get peace with my phantoms.

In that tiny reflection of myself in your eyes I become the father I want to be for you. A magician you are taking me by the hand to feel and understand the world in tiny and huge scales, you show me how space is so relative for people, you live a beautiful color world in my grey tiny box.

I felt so much when you were born, I joined worlds when I sang to you the SUKIYAKI song, I also cried when you me my mom’s soul singing to you Duerme Negrito, and concluded an incomplete sensation when I danced with you tear drop from Massive attack.

You gave balance in this year, Two close deaths  one new born that brought brightness and gave happiness to our sorrows.

You are full of enigmatic energy and you have no problem in sharing the purity of existence. EVERYTHING is included when you look at me wondering and beginning to understand this universe you came to. You are my new motor of life and your mother is my heart .

Burritos 7chf 

There`s always a first time to everything, In Bern I went for a CARRIOLA and when I was pushing it towards the train back to Zürich I realize that the only trolley I had pushed where the ones in the supermarket and the ones in the airport  This ,my friends was a new experience. After knowing that I would be a father, I quickly examined my life so far, I  knew my life was exiting, and great, Having a child would transform my life forever, at least that`s what people always say and that’s how you get mentalized to think.

How to put a trolley up and down the tram was an adventure, the first time was a disaster; luckily I had no kid in the trolley, because it almost went down. No people helping you, you feel handicapped with a trolley in the tram

I thought that my life was a bit catastrophic in a way that I was still searching for my life and goals, in a new country, and because I have not make anything solid for my future. Until now I just have made things that gives me power to the past and present but not future.

Until now I have 2 business that I am developing, The Primo Tacos, and the Silla Acapulco and they are developing in a great way,

The thing is that 9 months are a perfect time to think about how the future of your child will influence you, and how are you prepared to make relate with your child. I guess this is not about much planning, it is about instinct. The baby (which I still don`t know what gender is) is still not born. The due date was the 12 of November and 4 days later it is still in his belly, just dreaming cozy inside his bubble. Today Sunday we are both Sevi and me in our house printing photos and making albums. I still have to find a job and make Primo Tacos and LA SILLA ACAPULCO successful.

The kid is coming and there`s a little pressure in me to be successful because I’m starting to feel that age is a vulnerable thing when you look for a job. But I was never trained to have a job, I trained myself to be independent, And that’s how I still want to work , but, in a foreign country that laws are unbreakable and people are so afraid to be independent it`s not so easy.

I am glad that my kid is coming, I will cherish this moment.

Tuna tostada

5 chf

Four consecutive  consecutive weekends going to the woods, 

1 week 26 juli, Rigi with Tokiko and Sevi, 

1 week, 1 august Cadlimo Hütte

2 week the woods behind my house

3 week, Uetliberg

These three weekends have been good for me, I`ve been out and doing good things, feeling good and thinking about this somehow slow summer, a little boring, but its ok, 

I’m not going to japan, neither China, I wanted to go somewhere out in my last days of  vacation before the child comes, but I have not been able to organize it, I am still extra confused about being a father, and instead of behaving like a parent I take the role of the little kid, 

I am not focusing enough of the things I should do, and I loose so much time doing things that are actually not practical and doesn`t help me much in making a better future. It is really hard to see some of many of my Rodrigo’s dying and new ones betting born, but it’s hard to say goodbye to the old Rodrigo’s , and the new ones I still don`t want them to get born.

It’s a paradox, because you are getting old, but you have to get rid of your old YOU`s and embrace the new ones that comes with age and responsibility. I`m still not ready for that. I don’t know how to embrace them. And soon a kid is coming and I’m not prepared! because so far I have not achieved my goal to be in the opera business, but then again , probably I will never get in because I do so little or not at all to get in, 

I desire to much, I want to do everything, but because of that , I don’t do nothing and then I get frustrated because I didn’t do anything, It’s weird and funny in many ways , but it is also scary , 

I miss my old me, the one nobody understand, but he got things done, I don’t know exactly when I changed to me, crazy, 

So I decided to make a change right now, at 12:23 pm 25/august/2014

The undisputed blinded truth of a fantastic weekend.

Crunchy grasshoppers with chips $ gratis, I made them!!

Street parade was in Zurich 2 of august, Me 38 about to have a child, It looked that It was a nice moment to go for the first time to the street parade in Zurich, wild party, sex, drugs, DJs, etc. Probably the last time I could be going, but no. Instead somehow my plans where others, HIKING in CADLIMO, up to 2570 mt high on the Ticino mountains, bad weather, boring time?, Honestly I don’t know, I never go hiking. Sevi´s sister goes there to work on summers with Heinz. How boring could it be? Maybe a little? I wasn`t sure, But for one year Sevi wanted to go with me to Cadlimo, and last year I didn`t, so she was expecting this time, I would say Yes to Cadlimo! I didn`t have any option though, So, Instead of a Party on street parade, I opted boring (Like if I had a choice).

Before going on  Friday, 1 August  I took the advice from my friend Lukas, to try making Stan up paddling, This boring image of somebody rowing and standing on a board  with a big belly, I thought It was boring but a piece of cake, after all I had done Laser joller, Stand up paddling, common, Ok, I`ll go , I was not prepared , I didn`t have my swim suit, or anything, but anyway, Lukas was going on Sunday to Südtirol, I wanted to spend some quality time with him, rowing, or paddling, whatever the difference.

So I joined, I transformed myself from a fatty body into a cool shaped seal body with a black bodysuit, 

I grabbed my XXXL board and a paddle, and went to the zurichsee.

Guille my friend was also paddling. He thought I would have no trouble doing paddling because I skateboard,

 He was wrong,

I couldn’t stand on the damn board for more than 3 minutes, I was falling and falling, and falling, until the worst came. The fifth fall was the eye opener, as I was trying to control the wild board under my feet, I fell again and on the splash I realized that I just had lost my glasses. A moment of total sadness, between not seeing anything for I am a total myopia guy, and not seeing my glasses because of the turbulent waters, I was then in total despair. Suddenly I felt my glasses  touching my upper right leg, I dive like I have never before dive in my life, trying to catch it, no luck, My glasses where gone, slowly sinking in the depths of the dark zurichsee .

For a long time I haven’t felt like a kid, being teached by life in a more simple way.

Lesson of life.

“If you are going in the water with your glasses put a rubber band on your glasses, otherwise DON`T get in the water, You`ll lose your glasses surely you will lose them.”

Me

“No problem, I will grab my glasses every time I’m falling to the water, how difficult could that be?”

Lesson of Life,

“That’s why rubber band for glasses where invented”

Me

“Oh who need that shit when you anticipate the problem?”

Lesson of life,

“Exactly, anticipate the problem, don`t go inside.”

Me

“Nah”

Lesson on life

“(sigh)”

I talked to the paddling teacher and explained the situation.  He then went in the water to try to find the glasses with goggles. I was sitting on the dock like a little almost blind kid Thinking about the lesson of life, and looking around the new fluffy world I haven`t seen for a while. During that time I was in the awkward situation of having to call Sevi to explain the situation meaning that obviously I wouldn’t go to CADLIMO, the next day, “How could I climb a mountain with more than 10 points myopia in each eye?” Next moment, silence, I knew Sevi was sad and about to cry, not because of my glasses, but because she had plan this trip for a while to go together.  I felt also devastated, because somehow my wish on staying in Zurich for the street parade was becoming reality. It was the perfect excuse not to go actually, but my heart broke so strong with these 5 seconds of silence. I said I’ll meet here in the house and hung up.

After 30 minutes, obviously he didn`t find them. He told me that tomorrow the police could come to scuba and find the glasses in the morning, that phrase really made a clear image in my mind.  “Police scuba divers coming with a big boat, looking for my glasses” (talk about self-esteem). That thought made me feel important, it gave me hope. I thanked Philippe, the nice teacher and headed back to the house trying to grab the right tram number to go home. Guille my friend helped me to go back home. It was totally an awkward day.

Next morning…….. (Next post)